Shooting Global Warming Fish in a barrel

Twitter debates can sometimes be a bit amusing.

Flagged onto someone on twitter by @Moronwatch I sort of half heartedly got into a debate with someone quoting this piece from "News Room America" as support for his argument that we are cooling, not warming.

I have no real idea what "News Room America" is, and I don't think I've come across it before, but the piece is so hilariously inept it cracked me up, and I felt moved to de-construct it line by line convincing I felt the need to spread it's revelations further afield..
So - on we go -

New data released by a noted climate research institute last week indicated that the earth has not warmed in more than a decade, findings that are sure to challenge the global warming mentality for years held by a number of scientists.

Rather a bold claim to start with, I'm intrigued - lets look deeper onto the next bit.

The data, released with little fanfare by the University of East Anglia Climatic Research Unit in London, shows that the earth has not warmed in at least 15 years. The university's conclusion was based on readings from more than 30,000 measuring stations.

Umm right. lets take a look at this paragraph. Can you spot the basic errors?
University of East Anglia Climatic Research Unit in London. East Anglia in London. East Anglia in London.
Nope can't spot anything there. No problem with that. No sirree


Onto the next, ohh the CRU has released new data? Sounds fascinating - lets find it!


Search anywhere for a new release. I can't find it. The most recently released information sheet is  from January last year, and that doesn't mention 30,000 stations or no increase for the past 15 years. I assume this means the reporter has super deep sources, and the "little fanfare" amounts to data hiding of some sort. The journalistic skill in this article makes me smile.

In fact, the university said, it was possible the earth was moving into a cooling cycle, suggesting "that we could even be heading for a mini ice age to rival the 70-year temperature drop that saw frost fairs held on the Thames in the 17th Century," London's Daily Mail newspaper reported.

Leading climate scientists told the paper that the sun, after emitting high energy levels throughout the 20th century, may be entering a period of "grand minimum" output, which could produce colder summers, extreme winters and shorter seasons for growing food.

Other climate scientists made similar predictions.

"World temperatures may end up a lot cooler than now for 50 years or more," Henrik Svensmark, director of the Center for Sun-Climate Research at Denmark’s National Space Institute, told the paper.

"It will take a long battle to convince some climate scientists that the sun is important. It may well be that the sun is going to demonstrate this on its own, without the need for their help," he said.

Some scientists said models set forth by in 2000 by the British government have not yet run their course and could still wind up producing warmer temperatures.

Professor Judith Curry of the Georgia Institute of Technology, a noted U.S. climatologist, said many scientists "are not surprised" by the warming pause.

She said it's becoming more evident that factors other than CO2 affect global warming and cooling, such as the 60-year water temperature cycles in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans, the Mail reported.

Ah, a lot of quote from that bastion of fairness and accuracy the "London Daily Mail". I can think of no better source to use for scientific literacy. Lets find an article with this quote to see who said it - maybe I can track down the hidden UEA info.

Here we go according to the Daily Mail it was research done by UEA and the Met. office. Lets see if the met office shows what UEA has cleverly hidden.


The closest recent Met. office press release mentioning Solar output or global warming is here. Interestingly (or perhaps dastardly) it hides the UEA link. It does however reveal the research was done with "Mike Lockwood, an expert in solar studies at the University of Reading", and you can look up his research on the matter here. which seems to produce the majority of the Met. office information, although as the Daily Mail would never get something wrong - the UEA must have played a key, but hidden role.


I would comment on the high journalistic standards of the Mail, and wax lyrical on the accuracy of the piece here, but, I feel it's unnecessary, as the Met. office itself commented on this specific article. Obviously and clearly the Met. office confirmed absolutely everything the mail says, as it's a bastion of truth.


Anyway back to Newsroom America, lets read some more of the article that doesn't come from referencing the Daily Mail.

© 2012 Newsroom America.

Oh good they've copyrighted their completely and utterly original article about climate change. That's nice.

We need Independent Advice for everything

There's currently some discussion in the UK parliament about abortion and the laws covering advice and counselling before abortion.

It's come as a bit of a surprise to me as I thought we in the UK were pretty relaxed about the whole issue of abortion rights etc.

Nadine Dorries MP and Frank Field MP's main current beef is that the charities which perform the procedure also provide advice on options etc. and should be stopped from doing so in favour of "Independent" services. -

Nadine Dorries has criticised the "financial incentive" of the counselling offered by abortion clinics, claiming 60,000 of the annual 200,000 terminations would not take place if women were offered the chance for counselling elsewhere.

She also said

"The important thing is that the government have highlighted and agreed that counselling by organisations that are paid to conduct the procedures is not independent [...] That's very reassuring"

And Mr. Field went as far as to say :

"It is a general principle that advice and services should be separate," [...] I have no evidence of [biased advice]. But we had no evidence of mis-selling of pensions until people investigated." (Guardian)

I suppose the implication is that the charities are pushing more women into abortions to make huge bumper profits for their charity.

Now I would never, ever, go so far as to say that an elected member of our country is smearing an entire sector with vague unsubstantiated innuendo's of downright dishonesty with no evidence.

I'm sure that may be going to far, even if I am a supporter of evidence based policy (which there appears to be not much of around here).

Therefore I'm going to take at absolute face value the suggestion that advice and services must be completely separate.

As a result I've decided to petition the government to make the rules consistent when it comes to treatments offered. As far as I can see it there are plenty of providers who currently provide advice on things that they have a hand in providing.

In order to be fair we need to make it a legal requirement for these things to be treated equally in all cases. I decided to start with dental treatment.

Heres the wording of my petition

It has recently been established in proposed amendments to the health care bill that organisations that are paid to conduct procedures are apparently not independent enough to advise on procedures.

Therefore I propose that all patients of NHS dentists have a legal right to receive counselling and advice independent of the dentist who performs the treatment, before the treatment is performed.

Indeed there is currently nothing to stop dentists proposing unnecessary treatment for patients as they receive money for each piece of dental work completed.

This makes sense and is consistent with other pieces of legislation that are currently being proposed

I think this is a completely logical extension to the proposed amendments, and I look forward to Nadine Dorries's support when the petition goes up.

In fact this should be extended to NHS treatment (performed by all willing providers) when the NHS is remodelled under the current governments NHS legislation. Doubtless, to be completely consistent Nadine and Frank will also fully support my next petition at that point.

If you wish to sign the petition - please look here  - http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/15509

:)

In Which I proclaim the Death of Satire

Tom Lehrer, was famously quoted as saying that political satire died the day Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. I never thought satire could be dead, until recently.

I've been trying to think of something vaguely satirical to write on this blog recently, and I failed miserably as I couldn't satirise the ridiculousness of the truth. I think I'm going to have to declare the end of satire as I know it.

Here comes a few examples, of things I tried to think of something funny to think of, but failed miserably as they are far too absurd to start with (apologies in advance as these are a bit UK centric).

1. "Big Society" Tsar quits, as he doesn't have the free time.
   Explanation may be needed here for foreigners and other weirdos. "The Big Society" is the current government's key idea, basically for voluntary organisations and people in general to take more part in helping their local society etc. Which is fine as far as it goes, except most people see it as a thinly veiled way to stop providing local services in the hope people do it for free. And it's generally been an utter failure as people worry more about their jobs than about how they can give back more....
   In a society where people work more than ever before, this is found funny. The fact a person who was championing this idea, had to quit as he didn't have the free time is deeply hilarious.
   
2. ATOS Get's contract to run IT for Paralympic games.
   The IT company ATOS has been in the news here (in the UK) recently as it has been the administrator of "Work Capability" assessments, which are an software based test for determining whether a person claiming Incapacity Benefit is capable of going back to work. (Incapacity benefit is a benefit that goes to people incapable of work, largely through disability, but also possible through severe injury, long term illness etc.)
   The test has been roundly criticised, by many in the press, users of the service, and MPS. Not least because 40% of it's
   decisions are overturned if people appeal.
   Indeed an MP said in Parliament ATOS assessments cause "Fear and Loathing" in claimants.
   
   The absurdity that they are put in charge of a key part of an event that is intended to portray disability in a positive light is quite staggering....
3. Mcdonalds, Pepsico and Diageo take a key role in UK Health policy
   Yup, those bastions of healthy eating form part of the government advisory groups on obesity, and alcohol problems......
   
4. Catholic Church Child protection officer is paedophile....
   I can imagine the conversation in head office before appointing him
   "After the damage that paedophilia scandal has done to the church's image, we'd better appoint a child protection officer to make sure it never happens again.
   Shouldn't we check that he's not a paedophile first?
   A paedophile in the Catholic church? How likely is that?"
   
5. Tory Government Advisor declares (in the midst of recession) that most people have never had it so good.
   Now many people down the years have characterised members of the Tory party as a little out of touch with the common man, being a little posh, or rich. Often this is satirised.............but who needs to when peers like this prat talk utter rubbish.
   
6. Sacked News of the Screws Executives get offered jobs in Siberia
   For your crimes against Journalism Carole Malone, You are being sent to Gulag
7. Of Course it must be noted that Iran recently tried to make their own entry into the satirical comment market when it declared that it wished to send human rights observers to the UK in response to the recent protests. (Although I'm not sure if that should count as I suspect the schadenfreude was strong with this one)

The True Face of BP

After reading about how BP aided terrorism. And how its' recklessness spread evil tentacles around the coast. And how BP created the Iraq war...
And how BP led to the creation of the axis of evil.

I thought I'd do some of my own research into BP's evil, to see what other shenanigans they've been up to. So I spent recent weeks comb statements and interviewing literally dozens of people in an attempt to get to the bottom of just how evil BP is, and what other pies they have their hands in. Many people were unwilling to talk to me at all. Others seemed visibly scared and denied everything. Eventually I found a few hardy souls, willing to be quoted on the record, as long as they remain anonymous, as they fear reprisals by BP hit squads (known as the slickest operators in the business).

My first brave source seems to imply the hand of BP behind local UK events

Well. I was waiting for the bus outside Durham prison a couple of weeks ago when I saw a slightly shifty man with curly hair hanging around the gates. It appeared a prisoner was released, and the waiting man hurried over to him. I heard a rather loud whispered conversation involving the words "policeman", "Girlfriend". Then the waiting man handed the Ex-prisoner a long package.

It was only when I saw the news later that I recognised the prisoner as Raoul Moat. And while watching another segment realised the waiting man was actually Tony Hayward - The BP chief executive. There is no doubt in my mind that BP viciously caused these shootings, probably to increase the amount of petrol used by the police during the massive manhunt.

It seems BP have been active internationally too, and have attempted to influence international air travel. I have no idea as to the reasons.....

A few months ago, I was on a long strictly business trip to Iceland, when I had a free weekend, and decided to go camping halfway up the side of a mountain. At the time I did not know it was a volcano.
We were woken in the middle of the night by the sound of a helicopter. My secretary poked her head out of the tent and said there was a helicopter flying over the top of the mountain, and dropping things into it. I took a look, and read the words "beyond petroleum" on the side.

Later when I got home, I saw the volcano Eyehavealolkill (sic.) erupted, causing travel chaos across northern Europe. I knew BP had caused it. For what nefarious purpose, I have no idea.

The last source willing to talk was a professor I have been talking to on and off for years. he had just returned from an expedition to the holy land, and wanted to share his findings with us.... I have cunningly changed the name of the university he works at in order to respect his anonymity......

Hello. I am the emeritus professor of antiquities and archaeology at the University of West Anglia. A recent find in the middle east has been brought to my attention. Digging in the old city in Jerusalem has uncovered new papyrus claiming to be the original book of genesis. In all aspects it is the same as the well known first book of the bible, however it has an addition of two versus in the story of eden, which I will relate to you.Gen.3

[1]Now the serpent was more subtle than any other wild creature that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God say, `You shall not eat of any tree of the garden'?"

[2] And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden;
[3] but God said, `You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'"
[4] But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not die.
[5] For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."
[6] Which the serpent followed with "And if you shall eat this fruit, you shall be rewarded with stock options, in the company of BP"
[7] "Furthermore, you shall have a place on the BP board in perpetuity, and the profits ye shall reap will be huge. yeah more massive than the greatest tree in this eden"
[8] So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, and he ate.

Authenticity of this document is still unclear, but it seems to imply the reach of BP's evil is greater than previously supposed.

Disclaimer. The article above is intended to be (vaguely) humorous and is entirely fictional. This does not detract from the fact the BP oil spill and explosion is an absolute tragedy, both anenvironmental tragedy and a very human one. The aim of the humour in this post is the hysterical over-reaction to BP in particular since this incident. While I hold no candle at all for BP, I hate hysterical media overreaction.
Disclaimer 2: The other incidents described in this post are only referred to in passing, and in a satirical fashion. Please do not be offended by their inclusion.

also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt617zYAbng...feature=related